4/18/2010 Barkley Conan O’Brien coming to TBS:
“Conan O’Brien has got to be the luckiest guy in the whole entire world. First of all, they gave him $40 million to fire him, which I want one of those deals, and now he’s already working again.”

5/10/2010 Barkley on Dwight Howard:
“As long as you got Dwight Howard, you can get guys off the street and (your team) will still be impressive.”

5/4/2010 Barkley on the Atlanta Hawks losing by 43 points to the Orlando Magic during the 2010 playoffs:
“That should be a rule, if you lose by 43 (points) there should be no highlights shown.”

5/23/2010 Barkley on Amar’e Stoudemire’s comments on criticism of his recent play:
“Amar’e Stoudemire made me laugh; I’ve been watching the press conferences the last couple of days. He said, ‘you know, people praise you when you do well and they criticize you when do bad.’ I said, ‘Duh!’ That’s the way it works. These guys are so sensitive and if you don’t play well, it’s not personal, you’re going to get criticized.”
Ernie Johnson: “But you’re a sensitive guy Chuck?”
Barkley: “When guys criticized me, it made me play better. I didn’t get on TV and whine about it.”

4/22/2009 Barkley on Chris ‘Birdman’ Andersen’s mohawk:
“(Birdman’s) hair looks like Tweety Bird.”

4/25/2010 Barkley on the skill level of today’s teams compared to when he played:
“I’m just mad because I had to play against Magic Johnson, Larry Bird and Michael Jordan and guys like that instead of some of these stiffs that are playing in the NBA today. We used to have real basketball back in the 80s and 90s. We would’ve beat these teams like drums.”

4/30/2009 Barkley on the talent of Kobe Bryant:
“The only guy who can stop Kobe Bryant is the guy who we get down on our knees and pray to every night.”

5/5/2009 Barkley on his grandmother:
“My grandmother, who is my best coach ever, she’s not wrapped to tight up top…she used to call me after every game and if I didn’t play well she would say ‘Boy, you are embarrassing the whole family.”

4/19/2009 Barkley on toughness:
“It’s tough to win a game when your coach is the toughest guy on your team.”

5/22/2009 Barkley on the Lakers lacking toughness:
“You know the Lakers don’t want any of that physical play. They are like my stomach…a little soft.”

4/21/2009 Barkley on the Detroit Pistons/Cleveland Cavaliers 2009 playoffs match-up:
“You can’t fake hustle. You either have to be into the game or not. Cleveland is trying to win the championship and Detroit has one foot in Cancun. They are packing up their stuff as we speak.”

5/6/2009 Barkley on Ron Artest:
“There are a lot of guys you want to fight and (Ron Artest) is not at the top of the list. He’s like down at 25.”

5/6/2009 Barkley on Ron Artest being the kind of guy he would want to play basketball with:
“I have a rule whether a guy can play with me or not. Ron Artest can play with me, I always say I want tough guys who can play with me. Ron Artest can play with Charles Wade Barkley anytime, he’s a fox hole guy.”

5/6/2009 Barkley’s responding to David Wells challenging him to a footrace:
“Let me tell you something, if David Wells ever outruns me, I don’t even know, I’ll do the worst thing I could ever do to myself. Boomer can’t outrun me, I’m offended. Boomer, I should come to your house and slap the hell out of you if you even dream about outrunning me. Only way he can outrun me- you know those little dog races where they put a rabbit out in front? We put a ham hock out in front of Boomer, a ham hock, a neck bone or a pig’s foot.”

4/29/2009 Barkley on Michael Beasley:
“I think the problem with (Michael) Beasely is the three inches he lost between the college and the NBA. Beasley was 6’10” in college and 6’7” when he entered the NBA.”

5/28/2009 Barkley on Dwight Howard:
“I love Kobe Bryant and LeBron James and Carmelo (Anthony) has played great. But welcome to the party, Dwight Howard, this guy is a flat out beast.”
Smith: “Are you saying they (Nike) are going to have to change the puppets (in their commercials)?”
Barkley: “I can see my guys at Nike right now scrambling. All the puppets look alike so they just change Dwight’s voice.”

4/20/2008 Barkley after seeing footage of Dwight Howard shirtless in the locker room:
“If I had a body like that I’d walk around with my shirt off, too.”

4/21/2008 Barkley on the popular hip-hop artist Soulja Boy:
“When I told Ernie (Johnson) about Soulja Boy he said, ‘Is he in the Army?’”

12/23/2010 Barkley on the New York Knicks:
“To all those people who went to the hospital last week jumping off the Knicks’ bandwagon…I told you so.”

04/27/2010 Smith on the Miami Heat playing against the Boston Celtics:
“Where is one foot right now?”
Barkley: “On the beach.”
Kenny Smith: “Where is the other foot?”
Barkley: “Getting out of the Bentley. They’ve got a little umbrella in their drink and everything.”

5/5/2009 Kenny Smith on LeBron James trying to hard to score and not getting his teammates involved:
“That’s not a steady diet, that’s dessert. You don’t live on dessert, you live on steak, potato and vegetables.”
Barkley: “I live on dessert.”

4/27/2008 Barkley on having the right to talk trash:
“I’ve always thought if you can’t play, shut the hell up. I’ve been a big advocate of that theory.”

5/1/2008 Barkley:
“How tall is Maurice Cheeks?”
Kenny Smith: “6’1” I think.”
Barkley: “He has the ears of a seven footer.”

5/14/2008 Barkley on TNT not showing any highlights from Avery Johnson’s playing career:
“We’re in high def, we don’t have our black and white photos anymore.”